Frank Musta Missed that Sermon

It’s been said here a couple of times already. The Dodgers are headed into the Dark Ages. Frank’s divorce will suck every dollar from the franchise and Ned will be given 37 cents and a ball of lint to work with. Part of me wants to see the glass half full. The Dodgers are returning all of the important pieces, Manny’s in a contract year and Billingsley and Kershaw are still young and could be primed for breakout seasons. But your Chavez Latrine is convincing. We don’t have an ace, our closer has coughed it up in back-to-back NLCS and our farm system is suffering from a drought. To top it off, Frank’s breakup will reduce Ned’s allowance.

Interestingly enough, our boys aren’t the only ones in the NL West suffering from the fallout of its owner’s divorce. I refer you to Exhibit Ex: The San Diego Padres. In 2005, the Padres won the West. In 2006, they repeated. In 2007, they finished only a game-and-a-half outta the playoffs. San Diego was contending on a yearly basis. They never do that. And then, just before pitchers and catchers reported in 2008, the wife of San Diego’s Owner John Moores filed for divorce. Moores swore the legal proceedings wouldn’t affect big free agent signings. He promised San Diegans their Padres would still compete. But Mrs. Moores was relentless. The financial burden of his divorce froze player signings, reduced franchise investment in its prospects and ultimately caused a fire sale that turned a division contender into a JV squad. In the end, Moores was forced to sell majority ownership to his partners, leaving the impossible job of rebuilding to a depressed city.

For advice on how to deal with the imminent return to mediocrity, I sought the wisdom of a good friend… Pastor Jim.

Pastor Jim is both a Family Therapist and the only San Diego Padres fan I know. Pastor Jim is well-equipped with the proper credentials to counsel us through Frank and Jamie’s breakup. Pastor Jim is a student of both Baseball and the Bible and he’s clinically trained to guide both fans and the McCourts through this difficult time.

Pastor Jim’s advice?

“Don’t get married.”

Gee. Thanks Jim.

Digesting Jim’s deflating words; I wondered how a family therapist could make such a hopeless statement. But after further reflection, I am reminded of the Holy Scriptures. Pastor Jim’s words are echoed by the Apostle Paul. You remember them, don’t you?

I Corinthians 7:1, “It is good for a man not to marry.”

I don’t know if the Apostle was thinking of our national pastime when he wrote that letter to the church in Corinth, but I bet Frank wish he was a regular in Sunday School now.

Four more thoughts concerning the Divorce

1. If Frank has to sell (and he will sell), I vote for turning the Dodgers public. The Green Bay Packers are the only professional sports franchise which issues public stock and is represented in ownership meetings by its own delegate chosen by the people. The Packers are a Democracy! Could you imagine reading in the LA Times that the Dodgers are considering a trade that would bring Roy Halladay to the Southland, AND THEN GETTING TO VOTE ON IT?!?!? Yup. That’s my hand raised in the air. I’m seconding my own motion.

2. My favorite re-told story about Frank and Jamie: When Frank was trying to make his pitch to buy the Boston Red Sox, the former owners were clearly not convinced. Frank, sensing rejection, babbled on, trying to save face, when Jamie blurted out, “Shut up, Frank! Sit down!”

3. I think my brother Tim was right. Jonathan Broxton suffered a meltdown in Game 4 of the NLCS like a little kid who just witnessed mommy and daddy fighting. It’s no surprise that LA lost to Philly again, days after the separation went public. The Dodgers were doomed even before that series began.

4. I’m so tired of hearing people complain about Frank’s and Jamie’s extravagant spending. How they spent thousands of dollars on hotel rooms and dinners and designer jeans, but didn’t have enough to get Cliff Lee. This is such hypocrisy. You mean to tell me that the McCourts shouldn’t have lived a lavish lifestyle, so that they could pay some athlete millions of dollars so HE could live a lavish lifestyle? Even though he contributes nothing to society but for his ability to entertain? The Professional Sports Industry is so outta whack.