A Holy Lineup

Okay, first thing I think when I begin to read your analysis.  This is sounding a lot like “The Shack”; you have a Jewish guy representing Jesus and an Asian fellow in lieu of the Holy Spirit.  These details could have you excommunicated in many a church around the globe.  But then again it might get you elected archbishop or senator in the Commonwealth, so I really can’t bag you on that.

Sandy a dominate fastball/curveball pitcher, Ichiro a tireless hitter whose scientific approach is only matched at the plate by the likes of Tony Gwynn and the Ted Williams.  Although interesting to note Albert Pujlos currently has a better career batting average, albeit only by .0009.  Interestingly they both came up in 2001 and both pretty much became full time players right away.  Yes Ichiro has 313 more hits, but Albert has 282 more jimmy jacks.  Naturally Albert has more than twice the career RBI (515 vs. 1112) but he also has almost one hundred more career runs (973 vs. 1071).  Another interesting fact, Albert has fewer strikeouts career wise also, now this could be due to the AL vs. NL and how AL pitchers don’t have to bat, but I am dubious to that argument.  I could also drag Bill James and other sabermetrics into this argument and show how Albert contributes more to wins and causes more wins with his bat then Ichiro, but I digress.

Suffice to say, I have no argument to your choice of Sandy.  Perfect really.  But I feel Albert portrays the relentless record of excellence that the Holy Spirit exemplifies.  Therefore as I see your initial premise is flawed I throw out your whole argument (That is how theologians argue in the real world, so why can’t I argue like that on this blog)!  Sandy would go after Ichiro, but would probably pitch around Albert.

As far as Holy Lineups go:

Prophet Elijah hit leadoff batter plays center field.  This is a Ty Cobb type choice, guy is tough, and can obvious run fast: “The power of the LORD came upon Elijah and, tucking his cloak into his belt, he ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.” 1 Kings 18:46

King David bats and plays second; he is a small guy, but hardnosed and plays hard, real hard guy to strikeout and good and advancing that runner when needed.

Jesus Christ at designated hitter, you know he is good with the lumber, probably our best hitter but you can’t have him pitch because I think his whole “Turn the other cheek” mentality will keep him from pitching inside and throwing at opposing batters when needed, and he might be a better inspiration from the bench when the guys are on the field, maybe a player coach.

Samson at first base batting cleanup; guy can really show off his strength and hit the ball a mile when opposing teams makes a mistake, but he is prone to some major strikeouts every now and again.  And being at first base means he doesn’t have to field or move around too much.

Apostle Paul at third base batting fifth; tenacious hitter, crowds the plate, gets hit a lot, has to play third because of lack of range due to longstanding abdominal injury, a good gap hitter who walks a lot too.

As you had mentioned, Moses bats catches and bats sixth.  He is not a great hitter but been around for quite a while, and is used to wearing masks and stuff over his face.  Does occasionally make a miracle play though, plays really well on away games.

Prophet Habakkuk batting seventh and in left field; this is the guy who you really don’t remember how he got on your team or who you had to trade for him.  He is nobody’s favorite player, you walk into the team store and there is no merchandise with his name on it, except in the display case there are four signed baseballs from him that nobody wants.  You know nothing about him, but he is still part of the team.

Joshua plays shortstop and hits eighth; he is a general on the field.  Works real well with Moses behind the play to catch those stealing, and he reads the signs and plays the hitters appropriately.

Batting ninth in right field Daniel; quiet guy but really smart.  Eats only vegetables so he never really put on body mass to be a real hitter, not a total superstar but a real role player who you would miss if he wasn’t on the team.  Has been traded to a few different teams in his day, but always plays the hardest for the team he is on.

Pitching you go with Saint Peter.  Pure power pitcher, brings the heat all the time, has an ok change and is working on a slider.  Just mows guys down, but can be knocked out of a game pretty easily and develop the “Saint Peter Face” where it is a look of disbelief and he just looses all control.

That’s who I would field.